Perhaps the straying spouse has childhood baggage—neglect, abuse, or a parent who cheated—that interferes with his or her ability to.
Table of contents
- So, Your Husband Cheated On You. But What Did He Do Next?
- How To Tell if Your Husband is a Cheater
- Motivations for extramarital affairs are vast and can vary by gender
- Join the IFS Mailing List
- The Reasons Why Married Women Cheat on Their Husbands
Her finances take a hit. They know their mate eventually will disappoint them. Her professional status is tied to his.
So, Your Husband Cheated On You. But What Did He Do Next?
Many educated women still put their careers second, behind their husband's. Adding insult to injury, a divorcing wife risks breaking up her social circle as well, especially if it was exclusively other married couples.
Sad but true: A solo woman is considered a threat to the stability of other relationships and married friends often pull away. Her family is against divorce. Natalie her name is changed to protect her privacy was recently wed and newly pregnant when she discovered her husband had three other women on the side. For 13 years, the manager of a California nonprofit toughed out countless infidelities before she finally filed for divorce. Her family and in-laws cursed her. For five years, her family pressured her to go back to her husband.
The incident reaffirmed her first decision and this time she left for good. And my children were devastated. For many women, their husbands are an essential part of the family tapestry and disentangling it would be devastating. So they think hard before throwing it away. That was the case with Deb identified by her first name only for privacy. Intimacy with anyone else? Unreal, unthinkable.
How To Tell if Your Husband is a Cheater
A bird sitting on a tree is never afraid of the branch breaking because her trust is not on the branch but on her own wings. The worst kind of hurt is betrayal because it means someone was willing to hurt you just to make themselves feel better. Stray cats are like two-timing men. He got tired of you and took off.
Am I not smart enough? Infidelity is not about love but about a personal need system out of wack, an inability to set boundaries, a sense of entitlement, an addiction problem, unresolved internal tension from a long time ago, a deep-seated belief of inadequacy plus more. Robert Huizenga, Break Free from the Affair.
Motivations for extramarital affairs are vast and can vary by gender
The truly scary thing about undiscovered lies is that they have a greater capacity to diminish us than exposed ones. They erode our strength, our self-esteem, our very foundation. Realize that the person trusted you much more than you deserved. See how to bring complete transparency to your relationship using this special agreement. I trusted you but now your words mean nothing to me, because your actions spoke the truth.
A wife who discomforts you with truth is better than a mistress who massages you with lies. I am a good enough person to forgive you.
But not stupid enough to trust you again. In a marriage, in any long-term relationship, do not bother with lying. If you have any sort of secret life, it will come back to haunt you. A liar deceives himself more than anyone, for he believes he can remain a person of good character when he cannot. You need to take some time to process what has happened and what your husband has told you about the affair.
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If you have children and don't want to disrupt their lives until it is absolutely necessary, ask him to sleep in another room. If you don't have kids to consider, or you just can't bear to be under the same roof as him, ask him to leave.
He is the guilty party here, so he should be the one to go elsewhere and give you some space to work out whether you want to try to save the marriage. Don't put any pressure on yourself to make a quick decision about the future of your relationship. What you choose to do will affect the rest of your life, your happiness, and emotional and mental health.
The Reasons Why Married Women Cheat on Their Husbands
It's not a decision that should be made in haste. The last thing you should do is blame yourself for your husband's affair, warns Dr. Even if you may have contributed in some way to the deterioration of your relationship, you are not to blame for his act of betrayal. Decide whether you can move on from the betrayal.